Archive for » April, 2010 «
I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT IN THE YEAR 2012..
HERE IS MY PLATFORM:
(1). Any use of the phrase: ‘Press 1 for English’ is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait outside of our borders until you can.
(2). We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country. America will allow NO imports, and we’ll do no exports. We will use the ‘Wal-Mart’s policy, ‘If we ain’t got it, you don’t need it.’ We’ll make it here and sell it here!
(3). When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it coming in here.
(4). All retired military personnel will be required to man one of the many observation towers located on the southern border of the United States (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.
(5). Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn’t put nuttin in, you ain’t gettin nuttin out. Neither the President nor any other politician will be able to touch it.
(6). Welfare. — Checks will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40 hour school week, the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs, and passing grades.
(7). Professional Athletes — Steroids? The FIRST time you check positive you’re banned from sports … for life.
(8). Crime — We will adopt the Turkish method, i.e., the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more ‘life sentences’. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for the victim you killed: gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
(9). One export of ours will be allowed: wheat; because the world needs to eat. However, a bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
(10). All foreign aid, using American taxpayer money, will immediately cease and the saved money will help to pay off the national debt and, ultimately, lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we’ll ask The American People if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision as to whether, or not, it’s a worthy cause.
(11). The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.
(12). The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.
My apology is offered if I’ve stepped on anyone’s toes …. nevertheless…
GOD BLESS AMERICA !
Sincerely, Bill Cosby
Monica Conyers Update: Hellraiser In Divinity School. If you’ve been wondering what ever happened to the bombastic and outspoken ex-Detroit City Council member Monica Conyers, she told the Detroit News that she’s re-enrolled in an unnamed divinity school since resigning last year and pleading guilty to a felony bribery charge. “I like it,” said Conyers, the wife of U.S. Rep. John Conyers, D-Detroit. “It gives me peace. With all this craziness, I should have fallen down, plopped over and killed myself. But I don’t give up like that.” Conyers wouldn’t name of the school and said she has no ambitions of becoming a pastor. Instead, she’d like to become a counselor. Meanwhile, Conyers is fighting last month’s 37-month sentence for accepting cash for her 2007 vote on Synagro Technologies Inc. She expressed optimism about her appeal, but declined comment on the case at her lawyers’ suggestion.
Man Dies On Street While New Yorkers Walk By. Either this is yet another case of our society’s numbness to tragedy or this is yet another day of New Yorkers passing by their homeless…or what they THOUGHT was a homeless man sleeping on the street. But it was really a man who had just helped a woman who was being mugged keep her purse. The mugger turned to him and stabbed him several times before running off. And even after the man was stabbed, he continued in his Superman role by pursuing the man in a high speed foot chase back down the street. Unfortunately, the unidentified superhero collapsed on the street in front of an apartment building where a surveillance camera picked up the entire incident. MSNBC show the chilling video along with other incidents throughout the country that have lead psychiatrists to come up with the term “Bystander Effect” to rationalize the stupidity and pure heartlessness of our society. The man layed on the sidewalk for over an hour with people walking by and offering no assistance. He later died. Unusual or Normal? What do you think? Are we becoming more and more heartless? I have to admit, I was watching a commercial where a girl showed up for BET’s American Idol for gospel, Sunday Best, and her voice started to quiver as she told the camera, “I came here in these house shoes because I lost my home. I’ve lost everything and this is all that I have” and I didn’t feel the sympathy that I thought her story should’ve summoned. My feeling immediately went to, not again! How about you? Are you getting numb as the Extreme Home Makeovers and American Idols pile up?
New Book on Infidelity: ‘So He Cheated, Now What?’ You can’t turn on the news without being bombarded with headlines about celebrity marriages dealing with infidelity, betrayal and ending in divorce. Regardless of which situation, the public asks the same questions: Should the unsuspecting spouse stay or walk away? Whose fault was it? Five days after their third child was born, Nicole Cleveland found out her husband had an affair and was leaving the family. She thought this couldn’t happen to them because they were heavily involved in the church – he was in the ministry, she served on various auxiliaries and they paid their tithes and offerings regularly. As a wife, mother and employee that was used to living on two incomes, she was suddenly faced with living on one income and providing for three children. In “So He Cheated, Now What?” Cleveland shares her personal story of raw emotions, tears she cried from not understanding, loneliness she felt because there was no family around and even embarrassment. “So He Cheated, Now What?” is a guide to overcoming an affair in your marriage or relationship. Cleveland says, “Taking him back was the easy part. Rebuilding the trust after the affair, took a lot of work.” She says, “couples should stop sweeping their issues under the rug; only dealing with them firsthand will allow true healing to begin.” In the midst of her pain, Cleveland found her purpose. Her mission now is helping others by sharing her testimony. Women, families and lives are shattered everyday due to adultery. Her mission is to let others know they aren’t alone as victims of adultery and perhaps her experience, can make a difference with someone else. “So He Cheated, Now What?” provides action steps to restoring a broken marriage. Cleveland says, “This book is to help couples rebuild love and trust. It’s a process to restoring a marriage, but well worth the effort.” “So He Cheated, Now What?” can be purchased at www.nicoleconline.com or www.sohecheated.com.
Sinbad, Peete, Ebanks Praying for ‘Apprentice’ Co-Star Bret Michaels. Stars of NBC’s “Celebrity Apprentice” are sending well wishes and prayers out to fellow contestant Bret Michaels, who remains in intensive care following a subarachnoid hemorrhage (bleeding at the base of his brain stem), suffered late Thursday night. The 47-year-old rocker is stabilized, but currently remains in critical condition at an undisclosed location. Victoria’s Secret model Selita Ebanks, who starred with Michaels this season on “Celebrity Apprentice,” called Michaels an “amazing guy, very strong and positive” and asked her Twitter followers “to keep the positive energy going.” Holly Robinson Peete urged followers to “keep the prayer train rolling” for Michaels, and Sinbad also encouraged fans to “say a prayer” for the Poison frontman. Sharon Osbourne wrote: “I’m thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery”, while both Summer Sanders and Ivanka Trump said that their “thoughts and prayers” are with the star and his family. Wrestler Goldberg said, “Not really religious but please say a prayer.” Maria Kanellis wrote “Let’s all keep our prayers with Bret,” while Carol Leifer said: “We love you, Bret Michaels! Hoping and praying for you, buddy!” The show’s host Donald Trump has also sent his well wishes to Michaels, saying his “thoughts and prayers” are with the star and his relatives. Sunday night’s episode carried a post-script. Accompanying slow-motion footage of Bret carrying luggage across a tarmac, a voiceover said, “Everyone here at NBC wishes Bret Michaels a speedy recovery.” A source tells People.com that a sudden excruciating headache – “llike [getting] hit in the head with a baseball bat over and over again” – prompted Michaels to call for an ambulance late Thursday. Often referred to by doctors as a “thunderclap headache” because of the intensity and suddenness of the pain, such headaches are a tell-tale symptom of the kind of brain hemorrhage that Michaels suffered. The Michaels’s source adds, “Bret is still in ICU. He still has the headache and is heavily sedated.” A statement on his fan site noted that doctors are still searching for the source of the bleeding.
Armed Man Held After Obama Leaves N.C. Airport. An armed man with a car decked out with police gear was held after being spotted at a North Carolina airport just after President Obama took off. Joseph Sean McVey, 23, had police sirens, flashing lights, four big antennas, and a digital camera mounted on the dashboard in his car, as well as a sidearm. The Ohio man, who is not law enforcement, was charged with going armed in terror of the public, a misdemeanor. Obama had been vacationing in Asheville, N.C., and had just left for the memorial service for the 29 miners killed in West Virginia this month. Airport police saw McVey get out of his car and listen to a handheld scanner and radio with a remote earpiece, which he was using to monitor local agencies. He had formulas for rifle scopes on a note in his car. McVey was questioned by police and Secret Service and said he heard the president was in town and that he wanted to see him.
Whitney Houston Woes Continue at London’s O2. Here we go again. In a headline appearing this morning in London’s Daily Mail, Whitney Houston was referred to as “bloated, bedraggled and out of tune” on the latest stop of her troubled “Nothing But Love” world tour. Some 20,000 fans showed up at London’s O2 arena last night and greeted the diva with wild cheers, according to the newspaper. But, “once again the voice that had left her contemporaries reeling in its wake, was a former shadow of what it used to be,” wrote reviewer Georgina Littlejohn. The review continued: After stumbling half-heartedly through her signature song “I Will Always Love You,” Houston, who has suffered her fair share of drug problems in the past, said: “She don’t want to come, my soprano friend.” She added: “Sometimes the old girl sings, but not tonight. I want to do it, but she doesn’t want to. … She’s getting a little … temperamental, even.” She struggled further with another of her classic songs, this time cutting short “Greatest Love Of All,” only managing to pull of a couple of verses. And during much of the set she paused and panted for breath between songs while her backing singers did a great job of carrying her with their melodies. Her outfit also left a bit to be desired. She came on stage in tight leather trousers, a sequinned jacket that struggled to fasten at her middle and a bloated face. Whitney did manage to stay on stage for the majority of the two-hour gig, her first of three at the Docklands venue. But fans were still unhappy, with some even demanding their money back.
Grace Jones: Lady Gaga, a Copy Cat. Lady Gaga is catching heat these days from her pop star peers, British rapper, M.I.A. and singer Grace Jones, saying the strange, eclectic New York native is jocking their style. Recently M.I.A. spit some hot words about the artist, calling her a good mimic and that her style was “not progressive.” Jones feels the same way. In a recent interview, the singer expressed some similar feelings. “Well, you know, I’ve seen some things she’s worn that I’ve worn, and that does kind of piss me off,” the singer said. When asked if she would ever work with the overnight pop star, she simply said “no.” According to Jones, Gaga asked to collaborate, but she said she would never take it into consideration. “I’d just prefer to work with someone who is more original who is not copying me, actually.” Jones also shared that Gaga does not occupy space in her mind, telling reporters she’d never attend a live performance.
Sidibe On ‘SNL’ – Not A ‘Precious’ Moment. Gabourey Sidibe made her maiden visit to “Saturday Night Live” last night in an attempt top show she’s more than her “Precious” character. Some are saying that she seemed nervous and not rehearsed enough. If you missed it here’s how MTV described her appearance:
The Academy Award-nominated star of “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” took to the Studio 8H stage to perform a doo-wop-style opening number, making light of the confusion between her and the downtrodden character she portrays in the film. “Movies are not real life. That’s something you should know,” she sang, adding, “Mariah Carey doesn’t have a mustache.” The 26-year-old then sped through a hodgepodge of largely loud-mouthed and irritated characters. She donned dreadlocks to play a Jamaican nurse hawking a heal-thyself manual opposite Kristen Wiig’s Suze Orman. She yelled at kids on her front stoop as an elderly, know-it-all neighbor whose daddy used to sell “Wikipedias.” And she competed at the “2010 Public Employee of the Year Awards” as a surly St. Louis DMV worker.
We have to admit that she does look and sound kind of uncomfortable and even makes at least one boo-boo where she has to correct herself:
White Man Wearing ‘Black Man Mask’ Robs Banks and Fools Cops. Once again the black man gets blamed for the crime of a white person. This time instead of a crazy white woman, it’s a white man. In Ohio, police have arrested a bank robber who threw them off the trail by disguising himself as a black person. Get this. Conrad Zdzierak, 30, robbed banks in a high-quality mask of a black man, then took it off as he drove to his next robbery target, making authorities look like the keystone cops because they were on the lookout for a black man. He allegedly managed to hit four banks and a CVS within just three hours, ABC reports. But he screwed up because he didn’t disguise his car. Duh! Police got a report of a vehicle matching the getaway car’s description at a hotel and found its interior stained with dye bank tellers had slipped into the money bags. In the car they found Zdzierak, the money, and “what I’m calling a ‘Hollywood quality’ mask,” said a police lieutenant. “These things cost $600-$700.” “You are the type of villain we read about in novels,” the judge told him. Zdzierak is now in custody on $3 million bail.