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Best Poem In The World

BEST POEM IN THE WORLD

I was shocked, confused, bewildered
As I entered Heaven’s door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
Nor the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven
Who made me sputter and gasp–
The thieves, the liars, the sinners,
The alcoholics and the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade
Who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
Who never said anything nice.

Herb, who I always thought
Was rotting away in hell,
Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
Looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, ‘What’s the deal?
I would love to hear Your take.
How’d all these sinners get up here?
God must’ve made a mistake.

‘And why is everyone so quiet,
So somber – give me a clue.’
‘Hush, child,’ He said, ‘they’re all in shock.
No one thought they’d be seeing you.’

JUDGE NOT!!

Remember…Just going to church doesn’t make you a
Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

Every saint has a PAST…
Every sinner has a FUTURE!
Now it’s your turn… Share this

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Black History Month 2010

Three Teachers Mock Black History Month with Rodman, RuPaul and O.J. Black History Month has truly come to a close…and with what three white male teachers would call a “bang.” The school, which is 90% latino, was putting on a Black History Month parade where the children would carry pictures of famous African Americans. Well the bang those teachers were trying to make was in the form of Dennis Rodman (basketball player gone wild), RuPaul (drag queen of all drag queens), and O.J. Simpson (football player done lost his damn mind…acquitted of murdering his wife and her friend, yet still manages to land in jail for armed robbery). It appears that the teachers little jokey joke blew up in their faces. But, the only explosion was their jobs going up in flames. According to the Associated Press, the teachers have been removed from the classroom. But if the NAACP’s Los Angeles chapter president, Leon Jenkins, has anything to say about it, they will be fired. It all happened Friday at Wadsworth Avenue Elementary School in South Los Angeles. One of the parents, Sharon Tinson, told AP she was shocked to see O.J., but she “just laughed.” She has two daughters that attend the school. She also said, “Simpson, like Rodman, was a great athlete before falling from grace. RuPaul simply has an alternative lifestyle, she added.

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What I Want In a Man

What I Want In a Man, Original List
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4.. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)
1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)
1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn’t drive off until I’m in the car
3. Works steady – splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I’m talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn’t borrow money too often
4. Doesn’t nod off to sleep when I’m venting
5. Doesn’t re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)
1. Doesn’t scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn’t require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he’s laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it’s the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)
1. Breathing.
2. Doesn’t miss the toilet.

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2010/PISCES/March

Why is it sometimes life is a rude awakening. Can’t it just be awaken without the rude shyt.
Anyhoo, this is a month of changes for you. It started out on a good note, so let’s continue that here.
You will have many grand, and I mean grand opportunities to push yourself forward. There is
adventure waiting for you Pisces. You like to read, have you thought about writing a book or something
of that nature well you should, you have the talent for it. Try it sometimes just start writing on a piece
of paper and see what develops.

Finances – you will be helping the family this month.
Relationships – so many women, so many men not enough time so you say………………………….
Married couples, time to start planning that Summer vacation, somewhere near water of course.
Children – Patience is a virtue true enough, but nothing like a parents love and forgiveness.
Be Careful driving this month, stress might be a little high, try to remain calm.
Don’t let them see you coming, why…..because your better than that, that’s why.

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Al Sharpton

Can Reverend Al Sharpton keep his daughter away from her violent boyfriend? Last week, 23-year old Dominique Sharpton suffered a busted lip after her boyfriend punched her in the mouth, and threw her out of a car. The boyfriend in question is 23-year old Latrelle Peeks. He’s 6’7 and 250 pounds. His mother says it was just a scuffle, and people are only talking about it because Reverend Al Sharpton’s daughter is involved. The NYPD wants her to press charges, but Dominique Sharpton won’t cooperate. Maybe Reverend Al can talk some sense into her. Violence against women is not cool. Never has never will be.

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Teens having fun?

Teens Use Bible to Set Church Bus on Fire. Investigators said arsonists in Rutherford County, Tenn used an unthinkable item to add fuel to their fire, the Bible. Authorities said a group of teens used the pages to set fire to a church bus. Fire officials believe this is the work of some teens trying to have fun, but investigators and church members are not amused one bit. “The disrespect to God’s property is how we see it,” said Assistant Pastor Joel Young. Charred corners of the Bible are still scattered on the Middle Tennessee Baptist Church parking lot, now part of an arson investigation scene. On Thursday evening, authorities believe two teens set pages of the holy book on fire then threw it inside one of the church’s buses. Investigators suspect the teens had a change of heart and tried to use the extinguisher to put out the fire.

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2010 Numerology

Numerology for 2010

Heading into a “3″ year

The grace and charm of a 3 Universal year like 2010 can be either a gift or a pitfall — this year it will undoubtedly be both, alternating at wildly unpredictable moments as numerology and astrology interact to create a high-octane potboiler.

We are pushed to transform the structures and beliefs we most fear to change by the continued challenging interaction of astrological heavyweights Pluto versus Saturn and Neptune versus Chiron, with expansive Jupiter stepping in to intensify the conflicts at key moments. Then, when Chinese New Year ushers in the additional drama and intensity of the Year of the Metal Tiger on February 14th, the brew of explosive energies will probably reach a boil.

Phew! Who ya gonna call? Ghostbusters? Nope, the Universal 3 Year!

3 may seem an unlikely superhero, because 3 wants to be warm, gracious, creative and lighthearted. While people with 3 in their numerology can be very socially conscious, the pure essence of 3 does NOT want to deal with economic hardship, health care reform, terrorism or global warming … and yet 3 has just the gifts needed to take the optimistic, humanitarian visions of 2009 and package and market them so they’re pretty much irresistible to everyone – conservatives, liberals, militants, pacifists, ecologists, international corporations, competing national interests and religions, and Joe Citizen caught in the middle.

To learn about your opportunities in 2010, calculate your Destiny/Power/Life Path Number by adding the month, day and year of your birth. For example, August 6, 1952 = 8+6+1952 = 1966 = 22/4 (2+2=4). Here’s a thumbnail of how each of you can avoid the pitfalls and take advantage of this 3 year:
1 – You have the drive and ingenuity to get 3’s enticing ideas out to the world; then hire a 4 or 8 to keep those great ideas turning a profit for the next several decades.

2 – After your intense, inner-directed experiences of the past year you may have a little trouble keeping up with 3’s busy, extravagant spirit. But your job is to provide diplomatic glue that gets 3’s ideas to stick.

3 – The lure of the limelight may initially blind you to the needs of family, community and society, but once you realize that your service to them is an opportunity to shine as you never have before, you’re invincible!

4 – Early in the year it may feel like a very bumpy ride to someone who enjoys order as much as you do; but if you buckle up and stay on board you’ll find you’ve made a lot of progress by year’s end.

5 – You and your 3 friends and coworkers can either distract or empower each other with your mutual love of excitement and persuasive communication. Your best bet is to partner for maximum achievement.

6 – You are this year’s secret weapon! Your ability to create harmony and stabilize 3’s social genius allows you to help actualize ideals hatched in 2008 and 2009.

7 – You may have to be firm in protecting your privacy, but your clear, uncluttered intellect, coupled with communication skills to rival any 3, will make you invaluable to people who want to get things done.

8 – If you can put up with erratic schedules and (in your view) a 3 year’s tendency to have too many convivial coffee breaks, this 3 year will provide plenty of fuel for your drive to succeed.

9 – Your think-globally-act-locally values are the bridge between 3’s social and creative gifts and the universal tasks which this year’s astrology mandates. You are the coupling that unifies them.

11 – You’ll feel right at home with and creatively energized by the artistic self expression that is 3’s hallmark; get 1, 3 or 9 to help you make the most of your inspirations.

22 – If anyone can get the world to sit up, take notice of (and vote for!) 3’s ingenious presentation of social and economic visions and solutions, it’s you. Go for it!

All of us will accomplish more, and get more enjoyment out of this 3 Universal year, if we operate with two apparently opposing principles: “We are the world.” And “Lighten up!” The combination of humanitarian sensibilities and sociable, extroverted charm are the keys to this year’s magical opportunities.

(snagged by Verbena)

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Jack Patterson

Christian Boarding Scholl Head Accused of Violence. Dr. Jack Patterson, founder of the Christian boarding school, Reclamation Ranch, goes on trial for aggravated child abuse March 10 in Blount County Alabama. The trial comes two years after a 17-year-old male resident came forward with charges of severe abuse, torture and beating. “The search by law enforcement and the questioning of involved minors yielded corroboration of the original allegations and evidence of other instances of mistreatment,” said Blount County District Attorney Tommy Rountree, in a Birmingham News article. One report said investigators seized handcuffs and shackles from the facility, and as the clip mentions handguns and rifles were also present. Ultimately, eleven juvenile boys were sent home from Reclamation Ranch pending the outcome of the investigation. Jack Patterson was at the courthouse in November 2008 when Alabama Circuit Court Judge Steve King made the ruling. He wasn’t alone – about 200 of his supporters came out that day. A handful of those gathered, according to the Birmingham News, blew Dr. Jack kisses as he looked down from a second story window.

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Pastor Jailed – for killing wife.

Pastor Headed to Jail for Faking Wife’s Suicide. You can’t trust anyone these days if you have to worry about your preacher husband suffocating you in your sleep. Former baptist minister, Matt Baker, 38, is looking at spending the rest of his life behind bars. He obviously, skipped class that day in seminary school when they were teaching about how God don’t like ugly and He’s omnipresent and sees all things etc. etc. etc. Initially, Baker told the police that he found a suicide note and that his wife, Kari Baker, had been depressed because their daughter succumbed to cancer in 1999. But, the real story was that he wanted to bang all of his wife’s friends and some of their daughter’s and because he’s a baptist minister, he couldn’t get a divorce, so he used the other marriage breach loophole…death. To make matters worse, the law went for it until Kari’s parents smelled something funny. They said there was foul play. They even had her body exhumed for further investigation. I know! What a bastard, right? Well, you’ll find another word when you see what one of his mistresses had to say on the stand. Who later contradicted her own skanky testimony. (see full story below)

Former Pastor Faces Life Sentence for Killing Wife. WACO, Texas (Jan. 21) — After convicting a former Texas minister of killing his wife, jurors on Thursday were to hear new evidence — possibly about sexual advances toward other women — as the punishment phase began. Matt Baker, 38, faces up to life in prison for drugging and suffocating his wife, Kari, then faking her suicide note in 2006. Jurors deliberated more than seven hours before finding him guilty late Wednesday. Prosecutors notified defense attorneys before the trial began that they planned to present evidence that Baker made sexual advances toward at least a dozen women, including some underage girls, over the past 18 years. Testimony about the allegations could come during the sentencing hearing, as they were mentioned during trial only in a vague comment by Baker’s ex-mistress.

The case almost never went to trial. Kari Baker’s death was originally ruled a suicide, but authorities reopened the case several months later after her parents shared evidence obtained for their wrongful death lawsuit against Baker. “We did it,” a sobbing Linda Dulin, Kari’s mother, said late Wednesday as she left the courtroom and embraced relatives and friends. Baker did not testify during the seven-day trial and showed no emotion when the verdict was read. After the judge revoked his bond, Baker shook his attorney’s hand and said “thank you” before a sheriff’s deputy took him into custody. A gag order on attorneys was to remain in effect until after sentencing.

Jurors were instructed that to find Baker guilty, they had to agree on two things: that Baker drugged his wife and that he suffocated her with a pillow. Earlier Wednesday, jurors asked whether they could find Baker guilty without agreeing he smothered her. State District Judge Ralph Strother told them in a note to follow the original instructions, but he did not repeat the wording. Jurors also found themselves at odds over the testimony of Vanessa Bulls, Baker’s former mistress. They sent the judge a note saying there were disagreements about her testimony regarding “what went on” between her and Baker at his daughter’s birthday slumber party two weeks after his wife’s death, and what she told investigators last year. Bulls had testified that during the party, she stayed up all night talking to the girls and did not have sex with Baker. Bulls also testified that she told investigators last year that she and Baker had sex that night. Jurors requested and were given part of the trial transcript.

During closing arguments, Susan Shafer said Baker had told a “web of lies” since his wife’s death in their home in Hewitt, a Waco suburb. She said Kari’s upbeat e-mails about a new job just before her death contradicted Baker’s story that she killed herself because she was depressed over their middle daughter’s 1999 cancer death. Bulls, who was granted immunity, testified that Baker told her he slipped his wife the prescription sleep aid Ambien, handcuffed her to the bed under the guise of spicing up their marriage, and smothered her with a pillow after she fell asleep. Baker then typed a suicide note and rubbed his wife’s lifeless hand over it in case authorities tested for fingerprints, Bulls testified.

The medical examiner overseeing the autopsy testified that signs of smothering were hard to detect and that he did not see any trauma to Kari’s body. But another medical examiner who reviewed the autopsy results said he saw an abrasion on Kari’s nose consistent with being smothered. Shafer also urged jurors to note Baker’s contradictory statements in his civil lawsuit deposition and in television interviews. “She was in the way of the life that he had envisioned for himself, and he was a Baptist preacher and he couldn’t divorce; he’d lose his job, and he’d have trouble getting another one,” Shafer told jurors. Defense attorney Guy James Gray said Baker was on trial for murder only because he had lied about having an affair.

Gray said an autopsy report listed the cause of death as undetermined, and the partial palm print on the suicide note could have been Kari’s because an expert ruled out Baker and investigators who may have touched it. Kari Baker’s fingerprints and palm prints could not be obtained. Her body was exhumed for the autopsy three months after her death amid suspicions she did not kill herself. Defense attorney Harold Danford said many prosecution witnesses were brought in “to make you mad at Matt” and urged jurors not to vote with their emotions. Gray also said Bulls was not credible and “may be pathological” because she repeatedly lied to police and others during the investigation. Prosecutor Crawford Long said Bulls eventually told the truth about her affair and knowing how Kari died, even though “everything she said makes her look worse and worse, and that’s why you know it’s true.”

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Category: RELIGION  Tags:  2 Comments
Financial Prayer

Prayer for Finances (it works)
I claimed it for you – now claim it for me.
God has more than a thousand ways to provide
For us, that we know nothing about.
Here is your financial blessing!
It’s a simple prayer, you got 30 Seconds ?
Don’t sleep on this…Someone recently
Read this for the first time and
Received exactly enough for a $0 balance
On all credit cards.
If you need a financial blessing,
Continue reading this e-mail.
Heavenly Father, most Gracious and Loving
God, I pray to you that you Abundantly bless
My family and me.
I know that you recognize, that a Family
Is more than just a mother, father, sister, brother, cousin, Husband and wife, but all who believe and trust in You.

Dear GOD, I send up a prayer request for
Financial blessing for not only the Person who
Sent this to me, but for me and all that I have
Forwarded This message to.
And that the power of joined prayer by
Those who Believe and trust in you is
More powerful than anything!
I thank you in Advance for your blessings.
God, deliver the person reading this right Now
From debt and debt burdens.
Release your Godly wisdom that I may be a
Good steward over all that you have given me
GOD, for I know how wonderful and mighty
You are and how if we just obey you and walk
In your word and have the faith of a Mustard
Seed that you will pour out blessings..
I thank you now Lord for the recent blessings I have
Received and for the blessings yet to come,
Because I know you are not done with me yet.

In Jesus name Amen…

TAKE 60 SECONDS and send this on quickly and within hours, you will have
Caused a multitude of people to pray to God for each other. Then sit
Back and watch the power of God work in your life for doing the thing That you
Know He loves. Peace and Blessings….
Have Faith
8 angels are sent 2 you,
In 8 minutes you will receive something you have long awaited.

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Category: RELIGION  Tags:  One Comment