Tag-Archive for » adults «
Is one of the most loving experiences you can enjoy
With this comes understanding and responsibility
Sex can be sacred or sacrilegious
Profane or Profound
Yet we all experience it as one
Sex is a biological imperative
Not some unknown narrative
There is nothing ignoble or unholy about having sex
Our minds and culture have changed
God’s truth regarding sex
Biological imperative is not to create more life
But to experience more life
We are as one
By Lennis
From the book – Are YOU Ready?
Which piece of advice will most likely cheer up a clinically depressed person?A. “Pull yourself together.”
B. “Look on the bright side.”
C. “Don’t worry. It’s nothing serious.”
The answer: None of the above. Such statements probably will make a depressed mate or friend feel worse.
That’s because depression – an illness characterized by extreme sadness, changes in sleep patterns, appetite, energy level or mental focus – is a touchy subject and difficult to talk about.
Unlike high blood pressure or other health conditions, “there’s unnecessary stigma attached to depression,” says Richard Shadick, Ph.D., director of the counseling center at Pace University in New York. “Some people still view it as a sign of weakness.”
And that makes for awkward conversations on both sides. But talking about depression easily and openly isn’t impossible. With some forethought, you can find the right words to help ease depression’s pain.
Here are 9 statements to skip, and the right way to start a dialogue.
Depression is a miserable experience; no one would choose to have it, says psychologist Shosana Bennett, Ph.D., author of Pregnant on Prozac and a postpartum depression survivor.
If depressed people “could snap out of it, [they] would’ve done so,” she says.People with depression can’t will away the illness any more than they could asthma or diabetes. Like those other conditions, depression has a biological basis.
Imaging studies show that the parts of the brain that regulate mood, thinking, sleep and appetite function abnormally in people with depression. Key mood-regulating brain chemicals, such as serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine, are unbalanced as well.
Some people won’t see a doctor for depression but will agree to a visit for specific symptoms – such as insomnia, loss of appetite or constant fatigue, says Julie Totten, president and founder of Families for Depression Awareness.2. “Just think positive.”
People with depression often perceive themselves and the world in an overly negative light. They’re incapable of seeing the bright side of a situation.
“It’s like you’re wearing these foggy, distorted lenses, which filter out all positive input from the environment,” Bennett says.
When she was depressed, she literally saw the world in drab gray shades, she says.
Implying that recovery should be quick and easy may leave them feeling more discouraged than ever.
Better to say: “We’ll get through this.” This lets the depressed person know the world won’t always seem so dark and hopeless. At the same time, the statement acknowledges that recovery is a process.
Plus, “use of the word ‘we’ is very important,” Bennett says. “A [depressed] person feels all alone, so it’s crucial to reinforce the idea that you’re there for them.”
Treatment with psychotherapy and/or antidepressants can help, and with time can regain a brighter perspective.
3. “Relax. It’s no big deal.”
“Truth is, depression really hurts a person’s ability to function,” says Thomas Wise, M.D., psychiatry professor at George Washington University School of Medicine in Washington, D.C.
It can seriously disrupt home, work or school life, and wreck relationships. Left untreated, depression can even lead to suicide.
If someone is seriously depressed, don’t be afraid to discuss suicide.“People often worry that asking this question will plant the idea,” Totten says.
In fact, asking just lets them know you understand the seriousness of their situation, she says. It also helps you determine if there’s imminent danger.
If they answer “yes,” reassure them that such feelings are temporary. Then call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800 -273-TALK or 800-273-8255) to speak with a crisis worker, who’ll help identify your next step.
4. “I know exactly how you feel.”
This statement sounds empathetic, but really isn’t. If you’ve never been clinically depressed, you can’t know what it feels like.
Even if you have, no two people experience this illness the same way.
“Nobody can know how anyone else feels unless they ask and listen carefully to the answer,” says Elizabeth Babcock, LCSW, a psychotherapist in McMurray, Pa.
Better to say: “Do you want to talk?”
But preface your question with a statement that lets the person know you want to understand, Babcock suggests. For example: “I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you.” Or, “I don’t know what it’s like to experience what you’re going through, but I’d really like to understand it better – if you want to tell me.” Or, “I’ve been depressed, too, and I can’t know what your experience is like, but I know mine was really hard.”
After you state your concern, ask questions and really listen to the answers.
“Alcohol may lessen the immediate pain of depression, but over time, it only makes the hurt worse,” Wise says.
Trying to self-medicate with alcohol or other drugs can also lead to addiction and new problems. Plus, abusing alcohol or other drugs increases the suicide risk by impairing judgment and promoting impulsive behavior.
Exercise is a proven mood-lifter, according to a 2005 University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center study. Researchers found it’s as effective as antidepressants in treating mild to moderate depression.Walking together also helps the person stay physically healthy and socially connected.
Plus, it’s good for you too, which is important. It’s easy to overlook your own health when caring for someone else.
Or pick another cardio activity your depressed loved one once enjoyed, even if they can’t get pleasure from it right now. If they’re reluctant, say it’s a favor to you. For example: “I’ve been wanting to try this yoga class. Will you come with me?”
6. “Stop feeling so sorry for yourself.”
A judgmental tone makes depressed people feel sadder.
“[They’re] already judging themselves quite harshly,” Babcock says.
If you’re critical, they’re “being abused from within and without,” he says.
Better to say: “This can happen to the best of us.” Rather than fueling misplaced self-blame, send a message that depression isn’t their fault.
This also underscores the fact that it’s a common illness striking women of every age and background. One in four U.S. women will experience serious depression at some point in her life, according to NMHIC.
Results of a study released May 12th showing that the early introduction of antiretroviral drugs immediately after an HIV diagnosis deters the spread of HIV are “highly encouraging,” said C. Virginia Fields, President and CEO of the National Black Leadership Commission on AIDS, Inc. (NBLCA).
“We applaud the efforts of the courageous individuals and highly respected scientists who participated in the trial, known as HPTN 052,” Fields said. “They have made an important and significant contribution to the fight against HIV/AIDS. Certainly, more scientific study is called for. The results of this trial, although extremely encouraging, is not a panacea. Ultimately, researchers, supported by sufficient funding from our federal government, must step up their efforts to find a cure for this devastating global HIV/AIDS pandemic. Three decades of living in the dark shadow of HIV/AIDS is long enough!”
Fields added: “This highly encouraging study supports what the NBLCA, other organizations, and infectious disease specialists have been saying for years. Knowing one’s HIV status and gaining early access to treatment and care is beneficial both for the individual and the community at large. In 2010, armed with this scientific knowledge, the NBLCA played a leading role in successfully amending Article 27F of New York State’s Public Health Law to require medical practitioners to offer HIV testing to New Yorkers between the ages of 13 and 64 in all appropriate medical settings, as recommended by the national Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The idea is simple – a patient who tests positive for HIV can be linked to treatment and care early in the course of their infection, as opposed to later when they become sicker. This early treatment benefits the patient by keeping them healthier longer and reduces the community’s viral load.”
On Thursday, May 12, Dr. Anthony S. Fauci, Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, and Dr. Myron Cohen from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, announced the findings of a $73 million HIV trial involving 1,763 couples in 13 cities and four continents, including Africa, Asia, South America, and North America.
The people who really need to read this article probably won’t because they’re too busy yapping on their cell phones. Maybe those who do read it can make a copy and somehow slip it to someone they know who has a cell phone addiction. Maybe businesses can post it in plain view for customers to see.
Cell phone junkies are becoming a menace to society because they are so into their own cellular world, that they are oblivious and insensitive to their surroundings (like a typical junkie). For instance, while at the bank the other day, three guys entered the doors just seconds apart from one another, and each was cussing loudly on their cell phones and saying things that were inappropriate for a public place. They did not seem to have a clue as to how their actions were affecting those around them, nor did they seem to care. It was like they had a license to say whatever they wanted on their own private cell phones – but in a public place?
Then there was the lady – in a crowded Subway restaurant during lunch hour – who was so busy talking on the phone with her “girl”, that she thought she’d ordered one thing, and when the server had wrapped and announced “one six inch turkey”, the lady (still talking on the phone) exclaimed, “I wanted ham not turkey!” The server insisted she said turkey, and she began to argue with him. Maybe she would have been more attentive to what she was getting had she not been so rudely annoying everyone with her loud conversation on her cell phone. Equally annoying was a similar situation in a Post Office line with a lady speaking a foreign language!
I’m sure we’ve all experienced the left turn lane when the arrow turns green, and the person at the head of the line is engrossed in a cell phone conversation, not realizing the arrow is green until those behind start laying on the horn. Where perhaps five cars could have made the turn, only three do before the arrow turns red again. What a waste of time and fuel! And we wonder why there is so much frustration and disdain in our society today. Things like this don’t help at all.
For those who think it’s cool and okay to have indiscrete cell phone conversations in public places, please consider this old English proverb: “He who says what he likes, shall hear what he does not like.” Respect yourself if you want others to respect you.
I have used the 800-POLLUTE number to report air pollution; maybe there’s a way we can do the same for noise pollution. Maybe business owners could be empowered to refuse service to anyone who disturbs the peace with their disruptive cell phone conversations.
Thank you Larry Buford
1] Prayer is not a “spare wheel” that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a “steering wheel” that directs the right path throughout
2] Do you know why a cars’ WINDSHIELD is so large & the Rear-view Mirror is so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. Look Ahead and Move on!
3] Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write one!
4] All things in life are temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong, don’t worry, they can’t last long either.
5] Old Friends are Gold! New Friends are Diamond! If you get a Diamond, don’t forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a Base of Gold!
6] Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, “Relax, sweetheart, it’s just a bend, not the end!
7] When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn’t solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.
8] A blind person asked Swami Vivekanand: “Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?” He replied: “Yes, losing your vision!”
9] When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.
10] WORRYING does not take away tomorrow’s TROUBLES, it takes away today’s PEACE!
Who thinks they’re good at math? Okay, you’ve decided YOU are.
Yes, when we follow the directions as stated below we will all arrive at 111 as our answer.
However, the challenge for you is this:
Work out how exactly everyone can end up with 111, when all of us will have different birth dates??
Your Challenge:
This year we will experience 4 unusual dates…. 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11 ….
NOW go figure this out…. take the last 2 digits of the year you were born plus the age you will be this year and it WILL BE EQUAL TO 111….. go ahead…do the math.
Are you still up for the challenge??
A punishing heat wave has settled over central and eastern parts of the US, pushing temperatures as high as 43C (110F) and causing up to 22 deaths.
The National Weather Service warned of “dangerous” levels of heat and humidity creeping east, with no relief expected in eastern states until Sunday.
As much as 50% of the US population was under a heat advisory, officials said.
Meteorologists have put the temperatures down to a “dome” of high pressure in the atmosphere.
“This is an exceptionally strong ridge of high pressure that really has an exceptional scope and duration,” Eli Jacks, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service, told the BBC.
“The air is sinking, as it sinks it compresses and gets warmer.” It also dries out, so few clouds form to block the high early-summer sun, he said.