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THE SILVER SCREW
Once upon a time, a young lad was born without a bellybutton.
In its place was a silver screw.
All the doctors told his mother there was nothing they could do.
Like it or not, he was stuck with it . . . He was screwed.
All the years of growing up were real tough on him,
as all who saw the screw made fun of him.
He avoided leaving his house . . . thus, never made any friends.
One day, a mysterious stranger saw his belly and told him of a monk in Tibet who could get rid of the screw for him.
He was thrilled. The next day, he took all of his life’s savings and bought a ticket to Nepal.
After several days of climbing up steep cliffs, he came upon a giant monastery.
The monk knew exactly why he had come.
The screwy guy was told to sleep in the highest tower of the monastery and the following day when he awoke, the screw would have been removed.
The man immediately went to the room and fell asleep.
During the night while he slept, a purple fog floated in an open window. In the mist floated a solid silver screwdriver. In just moments, the screwdriver removed the screw and disappeared out the window.
The next morning when the man awoke, he saw the silver screw laying on the pillow next to him.
Reaching down, he felt his navel, and there was no screw there! Jubilant, he leaped out of bed . . . . And his butt fell off.
The moral to this is:
‘Don’t screw around with things you don’t understand — You could lose your ass.’
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Sunday’s show – “Got Jokes”? Call in and share something funny, we don’t care if it’s jokes or something that was funny in life. It’s all about laughter and fun for all.
4pm PST 646-727-2914 www.blogtalkradio.com/Lennis or “Talk 2 ME”
Thank you for sharing the fun with us.
Snotty Receptionist
> Yesterday I had an appointment to see the urologist for a prostate
> exam. Of course I was a bit on edge because all
> my friends have either gone under the knife or had those pellets implanted.
> The waiting room was filled with patients
> As I approached the receptionist’s desk, I noticed that the
> receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like
> a Sumo wrestler. I gave her my name.
> In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, “YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME
> HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT
> IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?”
> All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to
> look at me, a now very embarrassed man.
> But, as usual, I recovered quickly and in an equally loud voice
> replied, ”NO, I’VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX
> CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON’T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.”
>
>> The room erupted in applause!
> DON’T MESS WITH OLD RETIRED GUYS!!!
I don’t know about you folks, but I’m tired of disgusting, disappointing, insult my intelligence television. It’s like the good, the bad, the ugly, the reality, the WTF?, the Really? tv.
Call in today Sunday at 4 pm PST or 6 pm east coast at 646-727-2914
www.blogtalkradio.com/Lennis “Talk 2 ME”
Let’s discuss with humour of course, how we can correct this situation, lol.
Friday, October 21st is the day we get to see the twin babies of Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon. Son Moroccan and daughter Monroe will be introduced to the world with Barbara Walters on 20/20. The babies were born in late April. Carey tried to sell the first photos, but she wasn’t offered the millions she hoped. This will be the first time we will see the twins.
SIDEBAR: So by now we have all seen the twins, what do you think? Do you think they Pimped
their children out? Seriously, what do you think???
Former American Idol Winner Fantasia had to answer a lot of tough questions this week. Fantasia is scheduled to star as Gospel Great Mahalia Jackson in a big screen movie bio. Fantasia says no contracts have been signed. She was told the investors ran out of money, so she thinks the project is on hold. Reports came out last week producers of the Mahalia project and family members were upset with Fantasia because she is pregnant by a married man. They also claimed she lied about her pregnancy claiming she told them she was gaining weight for the role and not pregnant. Who is telling the truth here? Will this movie ever get made? Fantasia is due at the end of the year. She is not happy with the recent reports about the movie project and questions about her relationship with a married man (Antwaun Cook). This has been a difficult pregnancy for Fantasia.
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Who leaked Diddy’s personal info? The rapper and media mogul is working with authorities to find out who leaked his personal information from his Black American Express Card. His personal numbers and financial information were listed on a website. Whoever did it had to be close to him……. maybe a mad babymomma? Hmmmmmmmmmm!
The re-launch of the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) has been slow. Oprah has returned to TV along with a new addition: The Rosie O’Donnell Show. Both shows debuted to disappointing ratings.
Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton are teaming up for the movie Joyful Noise. The movie also stars KeKe Palmer and Courtney B. Vance and opens in theatres January 13th.
Alicia Keys will be doing the music for the new Broadway production Stick Fly, which debuts later this year.
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Ron Isley says he is looking forward to reteaming with R Kelly for Ron’s next project. Kelly is already working on his own project. Kelly’s CD Black Panties is coming out next year. Kelly says this CD will be very sexy and explicit.
Singer Roberta Flack is getting ready to release a new music project after eight years. The CD, featuring Beatles classics, comes out in February.
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Singer Kenny Lattimore recently opened up about his upcoming divorce from Singer Chante Moore. Lattimore says it is a private matter and that he is not gay, responding to rumors about his sexuality. He says he wishes it would have worked out, but they have a son and will always have a bond.
Mel B wants to lose the baby weight. The former Spice Girl and babymomma of Eddie Murphy recently had a baby girl with her husband Stephen Belafonte. Mel says she wants to lose some weight. She now weighs 165 and wants to get down to 132 with the help of Jenny Craig. Mel B is going to be the spokesperson for their overseas campaign.
Producer/Composer Nile Rodgers of Chic fame has finished his book, and the release date has been moved up. The book, Le Freak: An Upside Down Story Of Family, Disco And Destiny, is coming out October 18th. It will detail his music career and his battle with cancer. Rodgers has worked with Diana Ross, David Bowie, Mick Jagger, Madonna and Sister Sledge.
John Legend is now a television producer. Legend is producing a family comedy for NBC called Mixed Blessings.
An organization’s ability to learn, and translate that learning into action rapidly, is the ultimate competitive business advantage.”
SKIRT ZIPPER
As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, a young woman became aware that her skirt was much too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg higher. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn’t.
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step.
Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a slight grin to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more, but again was unable to take the step.
About this time, a large man who was standing directly behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
She went ballistic and turned to the would-be
Samaritan, yelling, “How dare you touch my body! I don’t even know you!”
The guy smiled and replied, “Well, ma’am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we were friends.”
nothing to put in it.
I said to him …. . . You wear pants don’t you?
He said to me … . ……… Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said .. That’s a good idea – you stand by the stove & sink while I
sit on the sofa and drink-
He said to me. … What have you been doing with all the grocery money
I gave you?
I said to him . ….. Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said to me. ….. Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
I said to him … . They don’t have time.
He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet
paper?
I said to him .. .. I don’t know; it has never happened.
He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive,
caring and Good- looking?
I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends.
He said to me..What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is
every night?
I said. . . A widow.
He said to me…. Why are married women heavier than singlewomen?
I said to him .. . .. Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge
and go to bed.
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