The Essence of Success

It’s always a let-down when folks you’ve admired or respected from afar turn out to be jerks in person. Case in point: Gabourey Sidibe, the Oscar-nominated actress in the title role of “Precious.”

Y’all know how much I loved the powerful film from director Lee Daniels about an obese New York City teenager enduring unspeakable abuse at the hands of her parents. After Oscar night, I wrote, “I was rooting for Gabourey Sidibe for best actress. But the moment edgy comedienne Mo’Nique won the Oscar for supporting actress, I knew that the divine Sidibe was toast.” But after meeting Sidibe at the White House Correspondents dinner and hearing about others’ negative encounters with her, I’m putting down my pompoms.

I was thrilled to spot her at a table laughing uproariously with the man sitting to her right. “I know you’re having a good time and I’m sorry to interrupt,” I began. My next sentence didn’t come out because Sidibe shouted over the din, “Yeah, come back in five minutes!” Thinking she was joking, I laughed and pretended to walk away. When I noticed that the look in her eyes meant she was serious, I walked back to her and said, “I just wanted to congratulate you on your nomination. I thought your performance was spectacular. I even wrote a column about it.” After wishing her good luck, I rejoined my friends.

Back at the table, I sheepishly related the incident to my colleague Jo-Ann Armao. “Oh! She’s horrible,” Armao said in her wonderfully blunt way. She told me that she saw Sidibe at the pre-cocktails and told her that she’d seen “Precious” three times (an amazing emotional feat that only adds to my awe of Armao) and that she thought Sidibe’s performance was “incandescent.” What was Sidibe’s response? “I guess I should say, ‘Thank you.’”

At the MSNBC after party, the partner of a “Countdown with Keith Olbermann” producer said to me, “Look! There’s Gabby Sidibe. I’m going to ask her to take a picture with me.” I warned him, “She’s mean.” To which he said, “I don’t care. I just want a picture.” I didn’t see what went down, but the dejected fan came back and said incredulously, “She said no.” No doubt the constant interruptions and jostling are bothersome. Her ever-shrinking zone of privacy must be irksome, too. And there’s no law that says Sidibe has to show grace to her fans or appreciation for their kind words. But a true star would.

At a dinner for the BET Honors back in January here in Washington, I had the pleasure of sitting next to Oscar-nominated actress and singer Queen Latifah. To be honest, I expected to get the Sidibe treatment. Instead, Latifah was as interesting as she was interested. She greeted fans who came over with a smile and warmth that made people happy they worked up the courage just to say hello. Latifah knows that without fans she has no career. Sidibe’s behavior shows she has yet to learn that. How about checking that ego at
the door.